Category Archives: How To

How To Buy Quality Clothing (At Any Price!)

CLOTHES RACK

Last month, in my article Making the Most of Your Shopping Dollar, I talked about how you don’t have to pay top dollar for your clothing, & how I think it’s possible to find great clothes which will last at any price point. I wanted to delve into that a bit more, & give you some tips & tricks to help you weed out the good stuff from the crap.

First, the bad news: really, the only true test of quality is trial & error. You could buy a piece from a brand you know & love, take perfect care of it, & have it fall apart on you in an instant, or you could go with an untested brand & be really rough on a piece & have it last forever. Sadly, because of the nature of the clothing industry, brands sometimes change their manufacturing practices (going where they get the best prices), so a company that was excellent six months ago might not have the same standards quality today. However, since brands do work hard to maintain their reputation, this doesn’t happen very often unless they are undergoing a major shift in management.

So all is not lost! You can protect yourself whether you’re shopping at a thrift store, boutique, the mall, or consignment shop—protect yourself with knowledge. You can train yourself to identify poor construction & feel out cheap materials. Here are some things to look for that will help you make informed choices.

Try quality on. Perhaps the easiest way to get to know what quality clothing feels like is to surround yourself with it. Spend an afternoon at a high-end boutique or two trying things on to get a sense of how expensive clothes are made. Consider it a test-drive.

Seams. The seams of every garment shouldn’t have loose threads or broken stitches. Generally, the more stitches per inch the better. The stitching should be fairly tight, but not so tight that the seams of the garment appear stiff compared to the rest of the fabric. You don’t want to seams to disrupt the flow of the garment. When looking at the seams of a garment, grip the seam on either side of the stitching & pull the sides gently apart. If you can see through the stitching, the seam has not been sewn properly & you need to pass that garment by. The types of seams are important as well. Serged seams & double topstitched seams are better than single straight seams. In fact, top-stitching in general is a good sign of a quality piece of clothing; top-stitching on seams helps ensure they will lie flat & not shift around in weird ways while you’re wearing them.

SEAMS

Serged seam * Double topstitched seam * Single straight seam

Facings. Facings are a second layer of fabric that you will find in high-traffic areas (like around zippers, buttons, & necklines) in better-quality clothing. These help reinforce the garment & it will last longer.

Linings. Lined garments are a better investment than unlined. They drape better & generally last longer. When looking at a lined garment, note that linings shouldn’t be tight, they should give. While you’re looking at the linings, make sure clothes that have pockets have real pockets. Even if you leave them stitched shut, none of that fakey-fakey business for you!

Buttons & fasteners. Are they sewn on securely? Give ‘em a little tug. If they look like they’re going to fall off in the store, do you imagine that a lot of care was put into the construction of the rest of the garment?

Hems. Try to buy pants with at least a two-inch hem, so you can let them down if need be. Hems should be sewn straight, & be finished on the inside, not left with a raw edge. If the hem isn’t topstitched, it should look like it isn’t stitched at all. They should also be beautifully pressed with no puckering or curling.

Fabrics. Natural fibers both wear & launder better over time. The more durable the fabric, the longer it will keep its shape. Adding 10% synthetic to natural materials helps them to wear better in the long run (both nylon & rayon are known for their durability). The fabric should hold its shape if you bunch it up in your hand, hold it for a moment, & then let it fall. When you’re looking at leather goods, quality leather looks soft & supple, never shiny. Also, make sure your clothes are cut & sewn on grain. Patterns and stripes should match at the seams.

Weight. If a garment that should feel heavy doesn’t (like a coat, blazer, or formal gown), then put it back. Chances are that steps were skipped on the inside that will ensure it won’t hold up over time.

Remember: cheap clothing is more expensive in the long run. You could replace a cheap winter coat every year, or spend a little extra money on one that is going to last you for the long run. Quality lasts. Plus, when you seek out quality, you won’t be so tempted to get a cheap quick fix. You’ll cut down on your impulse shopping and save yourself some agony.

Avoid trends, or at the very least don’t spend a lot of money on them. Maybe give yourself a “trends budget” once a season.

Try things on whenever possible. Know what you’re looking for, go slowly, & enjoy the process of building an amazing, long-lasting wardrobe. You will find it so very rewarding to build up your treasure trove over time!

Do you have any tips on finding quality that I may have missed? I’d love to hear about them in the comments!

Photo source.

How To: Throw a Tea Party

Tea Party

Last summer, when I went shopping in America, I was struck by how manic Americans are for all things British. I guess this is to be expected, what with Downton Abbey & all, so I thought this might be a great time to throw a tea party. Here’s what I’ve learned so far in my planning: tea parties are not just for little girls. The point of throwing a tea party is to hearken back to a more civilized time, where people spent time together, talking & socializing, without alcohol as a social lubricant.

Here are some other things I’ve been thinking about:

Be excited. Start by finding pictures online that inspire you. There are so many Pinterest boards dedicated to tea parties!

Create your guest list. Send them beautiful invitations, in the mail & everything. About 10 people is the right number. Encourage finery.

Location is important. But don’t think your house isn’t good enough! Just make sure you set the scene. However, if the weather is fine, outside is lovely. If you don’t have a balcony or a backyard, head to a local park. I adore Ottawa’s arboretum, & I would absolutely love to throw a tea party there.

Look & feel are crucial. Eccentric, chic aristocrat is a look I absolutely love. I’ve been collecting loner tea cups for years, with the perfect tea party in mind. Scrounge them up from church rummage sales, thrift stores, yard sales, your grandmother’s china cupboard (with permission!). You will need teacups & saucers, elaborate teaspoons, tiny forks & knives if you’re serving food that needs them, mini plates, & sugar bowls. Those are the very basics. Platters & cake stands get extra points.

Serve the right food. A selection of tea, cream, sugar, milk, non-dairy milk, & lemon are the very basics. Begin with finger sandwiches, fruit, crackers, & cheese, then move on to the cupcakes & scones with clotted cream. Sparkling rosé wine is always appreciated. For something a bit more exotic, why not dip berries in chocolate & sprinkle them with sea salt? Or try your hand at making some earl grey shortbread.

Dress the area. String up some bunting & Christmas lights. Use tablecloths, napkins, candles, flowers, & doilies, no matter where you are. Blow up some balloons.

Dress yourself. Now is not the time to wear something plain. Big skirts, fabulous hats, your highest heels can & should all be trotted out for a tea party.

Play some music. Go through your iTunes & create a tea party playlist. (Please do not include The Tea Party.)

Plan some activities. Ban conversation about television “reality” stars & social media. Bring poetry books that people can read aloud from (I love e.e. cummings & William Stafford), have some playing cards & maybe a backgammon set. A croquet set is a wonderful touch. I’ve been stalking one at Canadian Tire, waiting for it to go on sale. If you have travel Scrabble or any other travel board game, bring it along!.

Follow the formal rules. Tea is served at 4 PM sharp. The host pours unless she asks another guest to “be mother”. Pour from most senior lady to youngest, followed by any men in attendance. Or, alternately, just enjoy yourself & never you mind the fancy rules.

Enjoy your tea party! Take a moment to think of a more peaceful time, when people could share food in the afternoon. Of course, it helps that if they had servants to run the household while they were being leisurely! For those of us who don’t, at least give yourself an afternoon to be charmed away.

Photo source. 

How To: Be Loveable

Besties

“Dear Jes,

You talk a lot about the friends you spend time with, & it seems like you know a lot of people. I have a hard time getting to know people, & having them like me. Any advice on it?

~Lonely”

Dear Lonely,

Oh, I feel your pain. Boy, do I ever. As full as my life is with my friends, it took me a long, long time to get to the point where I was comfortable meeting people & getting to be friends with them. It’s really only been in the last couple of years that I’ve really mastered this skill, so I’m happy to dispense any advice that I can!

Smile. It seems like such a simple thing! But you’d be surprised how few people smile when they’re just by themselves. I have found that my “neutral face” actually looks quite angry, so I work hard to maintain a little smile as I’m walking down the street. Make sure your smile reaches your eyes, too—there’s nothing creepier than a forced grin!

Maintain eye contact. If eye contact is difficult for you, start practicing with people you interact with every day—sales clerks, servers, your bus driver, your boss. Ease yourself into it. You don’t want to look like you’re staring, but you also don’t want to never meet the other person’s eyes. It’s a delicate balance.

Pay attention to posture & body language. Look alive, like you want to interact with the world, not like you’re completely wrapped up in yourself or distracted. Also, take your headphones out sometimes! (Especially you, cute boys on the bus reading Kafka that I want to talk to!)

Speak in a well-modulated voice. Record yourself if you think you might sound too shrill or too monotone, & if so, practice reading aloud with inflection until you correct it.

Your clothing carries a message. I think it’s crucial to know how you look & present yourself when you’re interacting with the world, & your clothing is a big part of this. I don’t mean get all new clothes, or that everything you own has to be the Best Things, but looking tidy makes you more approachable.

Start conversations. “Never talk to strangers” no longer applies. I mean, be safe about it, but if you are waiting for the bus with someone who looks interesting, a casual comment about the weather could blossom into an amazing friendship!

People love the sound of their own name. Make every effort to remember people’s names when you meet them (there are tons of tutorials online if you’re bad at it, & most people are so you’re not alone), & use their names in your interactions with them.

Shut up a minute. Don’t talk about yourself all the time, & don’t just wait for the other person to finish speaking so you can talk next. That’s my biggest pet peeve in conversation. Really listen to the other person. People will notice. Talk about what interests them. Lead the conversation, sure, but make it about them.

Ask questions of other people. Remember the five Ws—who, what, where, when, why—& use them. Let’s say you’re talking to someone & they mention that they’re really into collecting vintage straightjackets. Some questions you could ask are:

  • Who first inspired your collection?
  • What is the hardest thing about collecting vintage straightjackets?
  • Where do you find them?
  • When did you start your collection?
  • Why on earth?!

From their answers, you can always jump off into more questions.

“Danger” topics (politics, religion). If these topics come up organically in a conversation, I don’t necessarily think they should be avoided. Just make sure that you are respectful of other people’s beliefs & ideas. Remember the old adage about opinions being like assholes—everybody has one. Don’t go looking for an argument, & know how to diffuse one if you see it coming.

Make people feel important. Sincere compliments go a long way towards greasing those friendship wheels.

Flirt a little. The keyword being a little. A coy smile goes a long way.

Put people at ease. Make appropriate physical contact, learn to feel things out. Take your cues from the other person.

Be nice. To the person, & about other people. If you complain about other people, the ones you’re trying to make friends with will think that you do it about them behind their backs. Talk about positive things & people will see you as a positive person to spend time with. It’s far too easy & sometimes fun to be cutting (which can also be mistaken for wit), but it’s not worth gaining the reputation of being a bitch.

Help whenever you can. Whoever you can.

Show sincere enthusiasm. There’s nothing people like more than someone who is genuinely interested & excited about life & the things that they are passionate about.

Make people laugh. I know, I know—easier said than done. But if you work on cultivating your sense of humour, you’ll find you draw people in. Start by finding humour in the things that happen to you. Make a mental note of something funny, turn it into an anecdote, & use these anecdotes when the conversation naturally could use them. It also helps to have a sense of humour about yourself & not take yourself too seriously, which can be very challenging. But learning how to laugh at yourself can be one of the most powerful emotional tools you have.

Relax. Being laid back makes you more approachable. Maybe keep all your angst, tears, & rage at bay around people you don’t know that well!

Bring people together. Organize things—parties, social events, casual hangouts. Get to know the people you already know better.

Love yourself, but don’t brag on yourself. It’s one thing to insist you be treated with the respect that you deserve (& you do deserve it!), it’s quite another to be boastful.

Know yourself. Be yourself.

A lot of these sound difficult, because a lot of them are about taking cues from other people, which you might not be great at. But practice, practice, practice, & I promise it does get easier.

I know this sounds like a lot of steps, but just pick one to work on every day for thirty days. That’s how long it takes to build a habit, then it will be easy as pie for you.

Good luck in your search for good, lasting, meaningful friendships!

I love getting e-mail questions to answer! If you have a question for me, please don’t hesitate to e-mail. I’ll be happy to answer if I think I can!

Photo source.

Flask Etiquette

Flask

I absolutely love the old-school romanticism of carrying a flask. Flasks filled with spirits rose to popularity during the Victorian era, when they would be carried to keep one warm on the hunt.

But I’m not much of a hunter. Or much of an out-of-doors person at all. So for me, it’s like I have a little secret in my purse! I went to a gala this past weekend, & maybe, just maybe, I might have had a purse-secret!

Remember, however, that a flask isn’t about getting hammered. Most only hold between three & five ounces anyway, which should be just enough to keep you warm.

There’s a fine, fine line between being the saucy minx who carries a flask, & just being on the sauce. So I do feel like there are some rules & regulations to follow when you’re flasking it.

Sharing is caring. If you pull your flask out in front of people, you have to share. Remember, though, that sharing a flask is a sacred act of friendship, so don’t pull it out in front of someone you don’t want to have that bond with. But sharers beware! If you’re at a place where a flask would be a good idea, & you don’t have one, you are at the mercy of those with flasks. (S)he who has the flask is In Charge. As the owner of the flask, you have some rights though–the first & last nips always belong to you. However if you choose to offer the first pull to your fella or lady, that’s a nice touch which should be appreciated.

Use your flask only for good. Put your foot in it? Offer a pull. The lubrication of a little whiskey or bourbon can smooth over all but the most brutal of faux pas. Speaking of using it only for good, remember that a flask is considered an open container if you’re going to be in a car! Don’t break those laws.

Take good care of your flask. Don’t leave liquids in it more than three days, since you don’t want it to rust. Clean it out by running hot water in it, & letting it dry out overnight with the cap off. Every few uses of your flask, or every time you use a different alcohol in it, add a few drops of lemon juice to your hot water rinse to really clean it. No matter what you do, never use soap in your flask! It’s impossible to rinse away, & you’ll ruin it for future use.

Personalize it. Engraving your flask is only a few extra bucks & well worth it as a conversation piece. Don’t overlook giving a personalized flask as a gift—it doesn’t have to just be a monogram, why not engrave an inside joke on it for your best friend? Do make sure you don’t give a flask empty; fill it with the recipient’s favourite libation.

Discretion is key. To that end, don’t use overly smelly booze in your flask, because everyone will know what you’re up to. Vodka, bourbon, & whiskey are all good choices, & schnapps are acceptable if you’re going to be out in the cold. Don’t get too hung up on people “catching” you with your flask, but be nonchalant & rogueish about the whole affair. There’s a cool that comes with flasking which should never be taken lightly.

Bring it to the right places. If you’re going somewhere there’s going to be a bar, I would recommend not bringing your flask there. It just looks cheap, & makes you look like a rummy. Remember also that Saturday night is very different from Monday morning, & you’re not Don Draper. Maybe don’t bring that bad boy to work.

Good places to flask:

  • Outdoor sporting events
  • The movies
  • Golfing
  • Whilst doing anything outdoorsy: mountain biking, hiking, skiing, snowshoeing
  • On picnics
  • At the beach
  • Around a campfire
  • On train rides

Take a moment. After a nip from your flask, take a breath. Appreciate where you are. Really notice who you’re with.  A flask is not about showing off; using a flask is about softening the edges of a hard world with stolen moments shared with those you care about the most.

How about you? Do you carry a flask? What do you put in it? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Photo source.

Bonus Round: Greying With Grace

I found my first grey hair this week.

It was far less traumatic than I thought it would be.

I colour my hair, yes, but not because I don’t like my grey. I just don’t like my natural hair colour. It’s a bit too mousy for my tastes.

I’ll continue to colour, but I’ll embrace the grey when it peeks through.

Like these lovely ladies.

Stacy London

Stacy London, co-host of What Not To Wear, has been rocking that grey streak for years. (PS: I also adore how sweet she looks in this picture!)

Caitlin Moran

Caitlin Moran, author of the very funny How To Be a Woman, with another great grey streak.

90s model Kristen McMenamy for Dazed & Confused.

90s model Kristen McMenamy for Dazed & Confused.

The brilliant Susan Sontag.

The brilliant Susan Sontag.

Jamie Lee Curtis

Jamie Lee Curtis, especially when she’s not shilling lady-yogurt.

HELEN. FREAKIN'. MIRREN.

HELEN. FREAKIN’. MIRREN.

Emmylou Harris looks like a fairy queen.

Emmylou Harris looks like a fairy queen.

Seriously, if I end up looking one tenth as beautiful as these women, I can be happy with my grey!

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